there's gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me

If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Don't effin' blame the chef!

Tuesday, May 31, 2005


I feel pain in my right ankle. I reckon it is because of that fall last Saturday. There is no swelling so I might as well observe it first because taking any actions. I guess I'm on flats and in pants for the next days... *sigh*

*.* as if! @ 4:51:00 PM • • RBJ

Monday, May 30, 2005

Weakened Weekend

I fell off the ledge last Saturday. Now I have this nasty bruise on my leg. No skirts for me for the following two weeks or so. Huhu.

Good thing nobody noticed. They prolly thought twas part of my stint. Thank you Syanta for laughing your ass off while I cringed in pain. Reminded me of Loiza and Julie when we went to Galera.

I almost fell off the plank getting off the boat and when I regained my composure, I saw them laughing like hyenas.

Loiza: Shit, Floi! Kung nahulog ka dun, patay ka!
Floi: Huh?! Exagge! Hindi naman noh; marunong naman ako lumangoy!
Loiza: Hinde, pare. Mamamatay ka sa kahihiyan.

*sigh* Friends...


It's over between Abe and I. I ended it even before anything started.

It turns out that Dick, being the dick that he is, has been spreading around that Abe and I are officially a couple. We're not and it seems we would never be.

We may seem sweet and cuddly in Galera but hey, what happens in Galera stays in Galera. I'm keen on separating my different lives. Why do they think I told them my name's Chevy when we first met?!

I'm sorry I can't be the girl everyone wants me to be. Maybe someday I'll change. Someday. Definitely not now, though, and definitely not for anyone but myself.

No goodbyes, however. We can still be buddies if Abe could just stay [and keep his hands from] outside my red tape.


I didn't get to visit Rozl afterall. I feel so badd. I only had to allot the last Sunday of every month and I can't do it. Actually, it's more like I refused to do it.

I went home at 6AM on Sunday despite the subconscious alarms I've set that I shall call it a night no later than 3AM so I can visit Rozl by 9. *sigh*

I set the alarm clock at 9AM. Better late than sorry. I snoozed it until I FINALLY got my lazy ass off the bed at two-friggin-PM. Shiet. I'm such a bitch of a sister. I need to offer penance or something.


I know I said Im'a move out right after Kuya's wedding but I'm still at home and my bags are still empty. EVERYBODY, including my boss, has been asking when I am finally finally going to move in the staff house.

I'm such a baby. This so reminds me of when I left home to study in UPLB - how I bargained with my education just so I won't have to leave the house.

"Hindi ako papasok sa UP kapag pinagdorm nyo ko. Ayoko magdorm! Mag-uuwian ako!"

Soon enough...

"Ma, hindi pa ko makakauwi this weekend eh. Next month na lang, oki?"

Hihihi... Gimme time. It's what I like to call transition anxiety. *sigh*

*.* as if! @ 3:25:00 PM • • RBJ

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Bon Appétit!

May 23, 2005
Bubba Gump
Greenbelt 3

Vermon Mylabs and I had dinner for no special reason. Just a rendezvous of good ol' friends.^_^ We are now officially food trip buddies and our very first experience of Bubba Gump served as initiation.

We goofed around with the waiter by messing with the service sign cards. Run Forrest Run means we're doing just fine while Stop Forrest Stop means give us some service.

The waiter's hand has lost steadiness from carrying those heavy-loaded trays.

The reason I didn't try Bubba Gump before is that I am allergic to crustaceans i.e. crabs, lobsters, shrimps, etc. and only an ignoramus doesn't know that the main ingredients of the specialty dishes of Bubba Gump is tadah! Shrimp. No point eating in a restaurant without tasting their specialty dishes, oui? What the hey, I ordered their Chicken echos echos. The serving is huge. As in, HUGE. Dish may be larger than appears on picture.

Mylabs was braver by trying their pasta with shrimp echos echos. But noooo... he left the shrimps on the plate.

We saw another Josephian batchmate Oliver-then-Olive-now whom I also saw on my second Galera trip.

We also saw Kring who filled us in on the showbiz chikas she gathered during her OJT in ABS-CBN.

Ta-ta now! It's a Saturday night and Common Ground awaits.^_^
Oh Tins, wishu could come...=(

*.* as if! @ 10:16:00 PM • • RBJ

Friday, May 27, 2005

Quiz Muna

Boss is out.^_^

You are the fox.

You once ran wild, but you allowed one true friend to tame you, and now that your friend has gone, you miss him with all you have. You are very pretty to look at, and you find the world of men to be loud and disturbing. You have many lessons of great importance to give those who can tame you. You are unique in all the world...
Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz.
brought to you by Quizilla

Get the friggin' out! Whoever made this quizzie is one helluva psychic. It's so eeriely accurate...

*.* as if! @ 11:56:00 AM • • RBJ

To All Ye Hypocrites

Look o...

Got this from him.

Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

*.* as if! @ 11:45:00 AM • • RBJ

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Galera I photos

April 2 - 3, 2005
White Beach, Puerto Galera
Mindoro, Philippines

Floi, Loiza & Julie - you know what they say... Hot chicks flock together.

*.* as if! @ 10:38:00 PM • • RBJ

NU talks

"Will you go out with me?"




NU 107.

Hahaha! Gotta love that radio plug.

Sleeps with Butterflies - Tori Amos

Take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat
I won't push you unless you have a net

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy

Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere

I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy

Love the song. Love the video. With Tori Amos, you could not possibly expect for less. She has one heck of a creative mind. She also created one heck of a theme song for moi!^_^

Akap - Imago

bakit mahirap
sumabay sa agos
ng iyong mundo

Simple lang naman sana
Ang buhay
Kung ika'y matino

Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo
kakayanin ko

Pikit mata
kong iaalay
ang buwan at araw
pati pa sapatos kong suot

simple lang naman sana
ang buhay
kung ika'y lumayo

Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit
Sasamahan ka

Love the song. Went head over heels for the video. I was dumbfounded upon seeing Aya. I remember her as this chubby girl-next-door with drawn eyebrows and thickly-gelled hair awesomely resembling a japanese doll. Now, she looks like any other cover girl... with rockstar attitude!\m/

Reggae Fiesta - Hemp Republic

Finally finally caught this on airplay. Sheesh. Caio manages the band VERRRY well. Great band, great music, great manager - sounds like the recipe for success.^_^

Their album is out in stores now! Head on to the nearest Tower Records and grab yourself a copy of Welcome to Hemp Republic.

*.* as if! @ 1:34:00 PM • • RBJ

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

6, 8, 6

Booboo: 11-17-2004 10:01 AM

[SMS number 1]
Cn i ask 4a tym off,floi?M
rily sory i hv bin outa reach,
lyk literaly,ds past fw days,
bt i jst cnt handle d 2 of u w/o
hurtn any1 of u
myself..+ my revalida

[SMS number 2]
s fast aproachn, n its jst
killin me,m scared 2death
tht i may nt pass it..So wht
m doin s jst focus on it,
concntr8 on it,prepare 4 it,
cz i thnk thts d key, d ans

[SMS number 3]
..M sory i knw m askn 2much
frm u agen..Bt i hpe n pray
ul undrstnd..My mind s
swirlin w/ thots n emotions
ryt nw,i jst hv 2tke it out on
u 2
..Her studies s also

[SMS number 4]
impt,ur lyf n work s jst as
impt,thts y we all hv 2do
ths..Mke tym 4 ourselvs,
2clear our minds so well
knw wht we nid 2priorityz..I
hope u undrstnd my floi..

[SMS number 5]
Tnx 4 everythn..Plz tke cre
of urself always..

[SMS number 6]
I love u,floi..Shes out of d
qstion..I jst hv 2 clear ths
hurdle in front of me..

Six months... Eight days... Six hours...

But it still feels like I have just read those SMSes for the first time. Fresh as a newly-harvested mango. Yes, they are still saved on my phone if only for the purpose of reminding myself once in every while that I used to be a sappy pathetic li'l girl who cried AT WORK over six text messages.

This still is my last heartbreak. It was the last time I felt that tingle upon someone calling me "my floi". But then, he must have meant to say "I hope you understand ME floi" - twas merely a typo error. It was also the last time I didn't kick a boy in the balls for telling me he loves me. Because deep inside, I not only believed him, I KNEW he meant it.

This, on the other hand, prompted me to be the strong womyn I am now. Gone are the days of boy-dependence. Gone are the days of hoping for a committed relationship. This was the first time I let "it" slip...

My subconscious impulse to see the big picture, the real picture, was won over by my firm decision to move on. I admitted it was over. I had him where I wanted him, anyway - wrapped around my finger. Even for a moment, I had him. I did not bother pushing for a closure; it can't be reached right after a break-up. It was a mere excuse to continue talking and seeing each other. I understood what Ninang Sheila said about not asking questions and letting the feelings fade.

I did not ask questions. The feelings did not fade, though. Not one shade duller. Shit.

Maybe... I still haven't attached myself to any guy... yet... because... I still consider This... time off... Eventually... he'll come back... and tell me... he has cleared all the hurdles in front of him...

*.* as if! @ 4:07:00 PM • • RBJ

Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Day Floi Quit

I have an announcement to make.

Today, I officially give up on fixing my family, or THEIR family rather. I'm sick of it. I try to talk everyone into reaching a compromise and they keep attacking ME. ME!!! The struggling mediator!

What goes around comes around.

Next week, after the older brother's wedding, I pack my bags, move to Pasig, and be the Prodigal daughter they eternally accuse me of being. Ta-ta!

Now, I get dressed and meet up with TGIS at Marbles to hit some balls.


P.S. Rereading my previous post [Too Much], I realize that I'm the best friend, potential girlfriend, daughter, sister and boss NOBODY would want to have.

I know this seems the part where I launch into my hell-i-care-if-they-love-me-they'll-accept bullshit but no, I actually plan on moving out and away to ponder and work on my interpersonal skills. Some more.

I just hope they understand that my actions have been a result of emotional stress.

*.* as if! @ 5:43:00 PM • • RBJ

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Too Much

I am human. I can only take as much emotional strain.


Last night, my SSB [Single Since Birth] best friend came running to me and poured out her frustrations and heartaches on finally being mutually in love with a guy. I consoled her only to find out that the guy she was talking about was actually one of our friends who has a girlfriend with a heart ailment in the States. It was the same guy I warned her has subtle signs of being attracted to her.

I've taken care of my best friend for so long. I tried to keep her away from the claws of the assholes and jerks of this world. I didn't want her hurt the way I've been more than a couple of times. NOBODY EVER LISTENS TO ME!!!

My so-called best friend asked me what to do. Oh, how I wished I'd recorded every hurtful advice and insult she gave me when I was still my weak self. Had I known her "not-in-a-rush-boys-can-wait" attitude was all a facade, I would've carried a tape recorder everytime we were toegther. She's still a girl slaved by boys. Ugh. It gives me gooseflesh.

This is her battle. I am merely a cheerleader. She got herself into it; she's the only one who can get herself out. I don't sound like a good friend, do I? That is because I feel like I hardly know her anymore, much less be her best friend.


I invited Abe to join us last night for a guy's POV. At around 2, I can barely keep my eyes open in exhaustion. I practically had to beg them to let me go home.

Abe thought I was drunk so he insited the two of them drop me off at home. I hate it when guys do that. To any other girl, it would've been sweet to know that a guy is concerned about her. But I'm not just any other girl. I can well find my way home even on the wee most dangerous hours of the day. I don't need a Hansel dropping bread crumbs to lead my way.


I'm suffering from the Carrie Syndrome. I've been taking care of myself long enough that I'm afraid of being taken care of because I might get used to it and crave it when it's gone. If anyone's going to spoil me rotten, that would none other than be myself.


I found out this morning that the two of them went to Dematisse after dropping me off and didn't go home until twas blinding [i.e. after sunrise]. I was gripped with jealousy and annoyance. I know my so-called best friend is not a boy-stealer but I also knew that she's not that comfortable with newly-acquainted guys as to go to a bar with him in the middle of the night so that proves how much I know.

I thought it was odd that the two people I introduced ended up together without me. What annoys me more is that my so-called best friend is such a pain to ask out and there she was at 3 in the morning in a bar in Malate with a stranger. MY stranger. She didn't even catch my sarcasm when I texted "Nag-Dematisse pa pala kayo kagabi hanggang umaga pagkahatid nyo sa kin. Sana naman masaya ka na." Fuck being a responsible professional. I should've just gone and I wouldn't be seething right now.


I texted Kuya about Pangee's dress for his wedding. That's when he told me Mum and Pop aren't invited. Apparently, Mum made a scene at the Pamanhikan and Kuya couldn't risk that during his big day. If my brother doesn't want his own parents at his wedding, I'm uninviting myself.

WTF?! My family is in deep shit. I couldn't buy nor create a new one. This is the only one I have. Something has to be done. Ate to the rescue. My ass.


My IQ-20 staff talked back on me while I was scrubbing him clean for failing to accomplish an assigned task because he mothafuckin forgot. I have tolerance to the ignorant and stupid [excuse my laziness for euphemism] but I most certainly do not have the patience to deal with the rude and uncultured.

I'm releasing my very first employee reprimand memorandum and it's not funn at all. Being bossy is so much easier than actually being a boss.


My weekend in Puerto Galera seems surreal. I'm back to my reality. Maybe one of these days, I'll pack my bags and settle in Galera for good.

*.* as if! @ 5:05:00 PM • • RBJ

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Talented Young Filipina: Ripped!!!

My ass!!!

I'm infuriated. No, make that enraged. All because of Bayo - my favorite local brand.

I was chatting with Francis [my fraternity brod-slash-photographer] about the theme of our photo-op when he gave me a link to this blog post.

Read On

I don't know how to react. More than half of my wardrobe is Bayo. My gahd.

Even the theme of their window displays have been copied from another Jap artist's work.

No wonder I'm amazed at the ingenuity of Bayo's designs. THEY ARE NOT ORIGINALLY FILIPINO. What a shame.

Quoted from Emma Mori's site:

"--hi! your illustrations are the cutest i've ever seen! unfortunately, a clothing brand here in the Philippines named BAYO seems to be using your drawings for their children clothing line(t-shirt and bag logos). do they have your permission?

--hello!! i don't know BAYO...I look BAYO's web. I was very much surprised.My illustration was being used without my permission. This is a crime. It it here so that it warns BAYO soon. thanks!!!"

In lieu of this, I'm appealing to everyone who may have any way of contacting Bayo officials to inform them of this violation of intelletual property rights. Until anyone acts on this, let us not support this kind of shame to Filipinos by boycotting the brand.


*.* as if! @ 5:30:00 PM • • RBJ

Monday, May 16, 2005

Galera II

Just got back from Galera. I missed work today because "all boat trips were cancelled yesterday due to heavy rain". Chika later.

Two words: Galera rocks!

*.* as if! @ 10:18:00 PM • • RBJ

Friday, May 13, 2005

Rain, Rain, Come Again

[posted: May 12 but published May 13 because of a liar]

I was greeted with that oh-so-refreshing smell of rain when I stepped out of the office last Wednesday. To my surprise, it didn't make me melancholic as it used to. Before that moment, the smell of rain [or rain itself] always made me cry with a couple of excep-tions. I didn't smoke as I hanged out in front of the building. Cigarette smoke would be quite a spoiler. I wanted to savor the moment.

You know how they say that the most effective sense for memory retention is the olfactory? The very instant the scent registered on my brain, I was taken back to July 24, 2004 - Chevy's birthday celebration.

I have no idea why it was the first memory that rushed to my mind. I swear, I haven't even been thinking of Lex for a couple of months now, give or take a day or two.

He picked me up from the house and we passed by the shop so I could say goodbye to Pop. He asked if he had to introduce himself. I told him twas too early for introductions. Pop stepped out of the shop, saw the car, then saw the school spirit sticker on the back windshield. Pop thought I was back with Lud.

I was wearing my red cotton sleeveless top, black tennis skirt and bakya. He told me I should've worn sneaks. I reasoned bakya is made for the rainy season.

I brought my auto-folding umbrella [which I now remember is still with Wencie!!! I left it in his bag after their induction ball which coincidentally was also on a rainy night]. He told me I shouldn't have coz it'll be a fuss. True enough, we left it under the table in Pier One and he had to go back to fetch it.

I squeezed my big fat ass in the crowded dancefloor in Common Ground by myself coz Chevy and the crew were being a bore [hihihi]. A few minutes later, I felt an arm wrap around my waist. He protected me from the sexual harrassment of the pervs. [can't get it outta my head]

He despises Hifhof but he tried his best not to look awkward. You should see him trying to dance with that beer bottle clutched to his chest with a hand. He's the cutest thing.

That night was also memorable because twas the first time I did ho-hum on the ledge. I made sure he wasn't looking but when I got back to our table he asked, "Ikaw ba yun?".

We went home at around 1AM, an hour late of his curfew. He was 24 then and he still had a curfew. That's because being the good son he is, he had to sleep in his Mum's room to tend to her needs. She has hypertension.

He drove me to Basti's, though, coz twas too early for me to call it a night and Same Crowd was there. We spent a good 15 minutes in the car before he finally let me get off.

The oddest thing is I would've been sad at any other time had I been reminded of this. Instead, it got me smiling through my whole travel from the office to Figaro in Las Piñas where Nog and I were to discuss our Galera plans. Yes, I was smiling (and not only because this'll be my second trip to Galera this summer). [Bitter Floi no more]

Ahhh... the good days. I easily discharge bad memories from my mind and select the good memories to keep me smiling for the rest of my life.

Thank you, Lex.

Post Script.
To you dear reader, if you haven't been religiously following my posts [does anyone?!], and if you're bored and have nothing else more interesting to do like breathe, I advise you click on the links. Wala lang. Click lang. Basahin mo na rin.

*.* as if! @ 4:46:00 PM • • RBJ


Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar
Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar
Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar
Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar
Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar
Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar
Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar
Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar Liar
You are.

Trying to vindicate your lie with more lies is downright lame. I pity you. Ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? Well, be careful. No one might care if the wolf comes for real.

Anyhoo, moving on...

*.* as if! @ 12:12:00 PM • • RBJ

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

To Move or Not

I've been pondering for a week over moving out of our house to the staff house in Kapitolyo, Pasig [10-minute walk from 65B!!!^_^]. This morning, I made my decision. I AM moving.

The MRT was a bloody pain in my royal ass. What happened this morning is a perfect example of what would happen if technology breaks down. The MRT was down and I spent a good forty minutes at Pasay Rotonda trying to hail a cab.

Problem was that I only bring exact fare every morning.

P 7.50 - Las Piñas to Baclaran
P 5.50 - Baclaran to MRT
stored value ticket - MRT Pasay station to Shaw
P 5.50 - Starmall to Summit One

So, I had exactly P18.50 in my pocket. I couldn't ride a bus. Otherwise, I would've had to charm my way to the collector's pity. No, thank you. An ATM machine was nowhere in sight so a withdrawal was not an option.

What really got on my nerves was that I woke up extra early to give myself allowance for the traffic in Baclaran since it is Baclaran day but what the hey, I arrived at the office at 9:40.

I'm definitely moving. Like, tomorrow na.

*.* as if! @ 6:54:00 PM • • RBJ

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

One Week

Tuesday: uneventful

Wednesday: 6PERIENCE

Common Ground's 6th Anniversary. I went with Alvin, then Nog followed, then we bumped into Nadine and two of her girlfriends. Abe and his rocker friend whose name escaped from my memory dropped by from Skins.

Erg and San Mig Light were overflowing [open bar!] and the toilet reeked of puke. Ew. These girls are such amateurs.

I won this contest, the mechanics of which you prolly have an idea about. It involves a bottle of Erg, a male model and the ledge. No one can beat the Diyosa.

The prize? Three bottles of Erg in a Ginebra paperbag. On our way home, Nog noticed that WTF?! Randolf was on it. My, my, Vea... baka we're meant to be nga. At least, he has proven he's somewhat famous nga coz he has his face on a paperbag.

Chef Janjie introduced me to DLSU-CSB student chef Lou [no, Kassy, he doesn't know you. Naturally, I initially asked if he did.^_^], student chef Lou's girlfriend Flor and student chef's younger brother Andrew. [I just love saying student chef Lou as much as I love saying Chef Janjie and Chef Kassy.^_^]

The real stars of the night were my Janilyn wedge platforms. They were accentuated by my stretch vintage skirt. While walking through Adriatico and Nakpil, Alvin already noticed that people gave me the foot-to-head. At first I was insulted but Alvin said that if they do it the other way around, they'd miss my gams `coz their stare will linger on my face.

At CG, four girls complimented my platforms and asked where I bought `em. "U.K.", I replied. I don't appreciate bumping into anyone wearing anything similar to what I have on.^_^

How I missed Chevy May that night...

Thursday: Blast from the past [part 2]

Cha and I has dinner at Mocha Blends Julia Vargas where JP works.

My verdict on their food? Let's just say a coffe maker can't make a cordon bleu. Stick to the specialties. But twas all good coz we enjoyed 20% discount on EVERY ITEM. JP punched in senior citizen. Hehehe...

After that, Cha and I went to this kinky store in Metrowalk. I've never seen dildos and vibrators upclose ever so twas an enlightening experience for me.

Friday & Saturday: Company Outing at Caylabne Bay

Three words: Fun! Fun! Fun!^_^ Sayang, wala nga lang boylets. But I think my boss's 6-month-old son was totally hitting on me.

Sunday: Mothers' Day in Bulacan

Bautista [maternal] Clan reunion. My new nephew Edrey is soooo adorable. Didn't even cry once. Such an angel.

Monday: Naunsyaming Kingdom of Heaven

I was supposed to finally meet Lost Cellphone Guy [LCG] but I stood him up. More on LCG on later posts. I can't even remember when I met him! But it's an interesting story I'd rather tell later.

Cha and I met up at Greenhills to watch Kingdom of Heaven but eternal-punctual I arrived 15 minutes late from showtime so we just transferred to Market! Market! to check out Sis Cely's Tita Cely's Sinigang bar and also to check out the fantab tiangge.

My gahd. It's like, Tiangge Haven [since Shoppesville tiangge is off-season]. I drowned in the shoes, bags and what-have-yous. Didn't buy anything yet, though. Couldn't pay enough attention since I was on the phone with my Mark.^_^

Shout-out to Joycee. Bru ka! Ngayon ka lang nagpakita.^_^

*.* as if! @ 3:17:00 PM • • RBJ

Monday, May 02, 2005

Blast from the Past

I had a wonderful childhood.

I grew up in a huge house with big windows. In the backyard, there were macopa trees, santol trees, suha trees, guava trees, and many more. Pop built a cage and we took care of doves.

Every afternoon, the streets were full of children playing whatever's the fad. From ten-twenty, text, shot-boom to football and swapping stationeries. Naturally, I had my share of cuts and bruises which are visible in the scars on my knees and elbows. I was a hyperactive li'l girl.

I had a best friend - Yeng. But she's gone now. No, she's not dead. She's just gone. It shall be discussed some other time.

I had a childhood sweetheart *blushes*. JP. Jan Peter Fernando Llanes. We were quite an item. Even our parents knew but they didn't really consent. Mum did everything to keep us apart.

Come `95, my family moved. Every bit of my childhood was left within the wood and marble of our house. But I took the memories with me.

Finally, on August 8, 2000, I had my first boyfriend. Guess who! Yup, my first love ended up to be my first boyfriend.

Here's the catch: we lasted for...



cue in background music... "Tatlong araw lang pala ako naging maligaya... `Di ko man lang napuna. Tatlong araw ko'y tapos na..."

I was still this naive idealist and he was too into Star Craft.

Eventually, we fell apart and until yesterday, we didn't see each other for more than two years. Yes, yesterday was town fiesta and I was delirious to see him at our doorstep.

He's still cute and lean and... let's just say I really have taste with my boys.^_^

He lives alone in Montalban now and he went yesterday just to see me. We hanged out at Mimon's and had a li'l too much to drink so I told him not to go home anymore and just spend the night at our place.

So... we were lying in my bed in the dark when he moved in and hugged me and asked, "Floi, pwede ba kita i-kiss?"


"Bakit naman?"

"Eh hindi naman kita boyfriend eh."

"Pero first love mo ko di ba? Hindi naman nakakalimutan yung first love di ba?"

"Hindi nga nakakalimutan pero lumilipas."

These boys... You give them a fraction of your life and they think you'd devote the rest to them. But really, take away their shining armor and you'll see they're just girls with penises.

I threw him out and made him go home at 4 AM.

*.* as if! @ 11:40:00 AM • • RBJ


I'll be seeing you. Goodnight.

Find me here:


Palabras Finales

Remember me when you hear this

sleeps with butterflies ~ tori amos

Airplanes take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live?
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night?
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat?
I won't push you unless you have a net

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy

Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl, this girl

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy

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Bury the Hatchet

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