In twelve hours, I'm gonna be in Cebu.

But it's weird; I'm not excited anymore. I tried to start packing four hours ago but my luggage is still empty. My clothes cover my bed and just about every meter square of the floor. I can't seem to figure out what to bring. Only things I'm sure of bringing are my gown, badminton racket and bikini coz those pretty much summarize my itinerary for the whole trip.

I have this uneasy feeling at the pit of stomach, like those you get when you're uncertain about doing something. It's like, something bad's gonna happen. Or, unsurprisingly, it's just first-time flyer's jitters.

Geesh, Floi, the flight's only gonna be like, an hour. That's just about the same time it takes from your house to the office. Or perhaps, it's the fear of being away from home. Hahaha! Don't be such a baby. Besides, someone's gonna be in Cebu who'll take care of you, whoever of Them it may be.*wink*

Oh my, I'm talking to myself again. Gotta go back to packing one more time.

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*.* as if! @ 8:39:00 PM • • RBJ

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*.* as if! @ 1:48:00 PM • • RBJ

Yum.

Just when I thought I can go on without blogging (it's been over a week of restraining, you see), the most exciting thing happened. I'll give you updates first on how my week have been before getting to that.

Everyone who read the Liar Liar entry has some interesting comments. It probably is the most emotional entry I've posted, much more than this or this. Consequently, I feel barenaked and transparent to the point of almost clicking


I don't regret posting it, though. You know me, I'm the girl with no regrets. It's just that I take comfort in my mystery and with all my heartaches out in the open like that, hmmm... Oh, I don't know. I guess I was a bit overwhelmed with people's reactions to it. Hence, the absence from the blogging world to replete the mystery.

I'm okeiii now if anyone's wondering how I've been. I read the post now and merely shrug off the bitterness. I'm too happy to let it take over me. Life's too good to waste away in bitterness. Consider it a documentation that Nubian gods do have moments of idiocy.

Thursday, October 14

Dumz and Charm had an LQ so I pulled Charm to Temple to comfort her. Four Weng-Wengs, an order of Chicken Fingers and a pack of DJ Myx Apple later, Charm forgot about her heartaches and we were having a blast!

Remember 3SX? They were there. Oh, and I bet y'all know Jeff Rodriguez from the Powerboys. He was on the next table. Kinda cute. Looks less retarded in person. Pwede na.^_^

Friday, October 15

Payday but no, I didn't go clubbing. I went to the frat house instead to meet THE Chee Pelaez. You definitely haven't heard of him, but, he's famous in the Betan community, being the fed prez and all. I also got to meet PCU sisses, one of which has such a strong resemblance to Maessie.

I started the night with apple juice (!!!) and was supposed to go home at 9 but Sis Len and Sis Cha came so I stuck around a little more to catch up. As the night progressed, I realized I can't leave early because there were far too many sisses. By 11, Sis Len and I shared a bottle of Carlo Rossi, which became three bottles by 4am.

Saturday, October 16

At home on a payday weekend night. Result of the absence of a cellphone. Mum couldn't be any happier it was lost.>_<

Sunday, October 17

Family day at SM. Sale!!! I was a happy bunny. Bought a new badminton racket. Tight! Kenny Roger's Spicy Chicken rocks!

Tuesday, October 19

Coffe Bonding with Ighie at Starbs Shang. Major coffee bonding. Sarah Meier was on the next table. I find it strange that she seems stick-thin on TV but she's actually meaty in person. Ighie and I were thinking our arms are just as heavy, hers is just tad longer.

The BIG Event

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*.* as if! @ 9:38:00 AM • • RBJ

Warning: You are about to read a million lies

People, do me a favor. Will you please stare at that pic on the sidebar and tell me if it is the face of someone who would lie? In short, with the honesty in the almost 200 posts in this weblog, would you say that I am someone crazy enough to come up with a big, fat lie? Someone did.

I lied.

"I love you" is not the shortest statement that renders massive repercussions. "I lied" is.

"I lied", with your signature smirk when you're nervous.

Weren't you this? I try to forget how you said it - your voice, your face - but it stuck in my head, like Marilyn Monroe's imprints at Mann's Chinese Theater - concise and permanent. It's something that was easily overshadowed with the event that took place that same night, though. I didn't care if you claim you lied [Heck, I didn't even blog about it.]; the fact you were man enough to confess was all that mattered.

I sat there, nervously making circles with the moist of my caramel frappe, half laughing and half crying, when she told me you've been telling the brods that "we" ended because I lied about this. Hold up, you believe I lied about it?!

First off, if my memory serves me right, our music came to a halt because of this. This blog has an average of 20 visitors per day and they are not intellectually-incapacitated homo sapiens like you obviously are. I deem they can tell when what they're reading is bull or true. So, tell me, who lied between the two of us?

Second, do you truly believe I would lie about something as serious as THAT? I wouldn't stoop low as to lie about me being ill. I wouldn't even lie about my RIVALS being ill. It's not my idea of fun. You weren't even supposed to know. But your fucking brods whom I fucking trusted decided you would care to know. What do you think would I get if I lied about something like that, huh? Pity? Special treatment? Those were the same reasons why I didn't want YOU to find out. I didn't want you to turn all sweety-sweety with me again just cause there is a possibility I'd be a real angel pretty soon, which, needless to say, was exactly how you acted.

Third, was I not your "Traffic Angel"? Your "pretty angel who almost left" you but didn't because I was gullible good enough to give you a chance to prove that you are different, that "it just so happened I met Ludwig first" [I now realize it was all in the context of misapprehension]? Do you think angels lie? Is it not unfitting to call the same person "angel" and "liar"?!

Liars go to hell.
Angels are in heaven.
Heaven is not hell and hell is not heaven.
Therefore, liars are not angels and angels are not liars.

                              [a->b]
                              [c->d]
                              [d->~b^b->~d]
                              [a->~c^c->~a]

Basic premises of logic. Is this too much for your peanut of a brain which can only process medical terms? You want me to construct the truth table to show this is a tautology?

There is a thin line between love and hate. It's something not easy for me to cross. One raison d'être that could provoke me to is an insult. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever [is that enough ever yet?] say anything that would step on my dignity. I call myself bitch, loser, stupid, even whore at times, but I have the license to make fun of myself. Actually, I don't give a damn even if other people say these things about me. But it would never be okeiii, not in this lifetime nor in the next, if I am accused of lying. For the record, I never lied to you. I totally bared my soul to you. I did not even keep one single detail about my past with Ludwig from you.

Okeiii, if you still believe I lied, if you really want me to say those two painful words, I lied. I did. I admit.

I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied.
I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied.
I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied.
I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied.
I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied.
I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied. I lied.

But the only lie I ever told you was that I lied about the AA thingy, implying my physician's fucking diagnosis was faux pas. The physician my parents trust with the whole family's well-being is fucking incompetent.

Yes, that was my lips. Lips that are now pale and chapping without the aid of a lipgloss. That's my lie. I hide my weakness behind make-up and false energy. I lied because, I thought things between us would get better and I didn't want this health flaw to perturb you.

You could've easily said,"You lied. You're not sick at all. What am I doing with you?!" but no, you had to come up with some hypothetical "other" girl.

"I lied. I was dating another girl while we were dating."

"You think you're the only one miserable?! Look at me, I'm too ashamed to look you straight in the eye. I realized to late that I made the wrong choice."

"You have no idea how much I think of you everytime I hold her hand in this car. How much I wish you're the one sitting on the passenger seat."

I have to stop now. All these lies are making me dizzy.


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*.* as if! @ 4:57:00 PM • • RBJ

SoDsIsLuv is my beloved cellphone. He will be missed. "sniff"

Last Friday night, I lost my phone. Doesn't matter where and how.^_^ Just plain stupidity, actually.

Anyway, over the weekend, my friends and I called and called and texted and texted my number. It rang but the finder obviously believes in finders-keepers pero ang kapal ng face nya to still be using my number, right?!

So, anyway, I tried my luck yesterday morning and this guy answered. I introduced myself, being the owner of the phone he's using of course, and he obviously turned hesitant to talk. I can tell they had no intentions whatsoever of returning my phone. I tried hard to charm my way around the conversation in fear that he'll hang up.

By the end of the conversation, I had their address (not exact, though, but it's a start) and their full names. The girl who found my phone is Princess Ramirez and the guy who answered my call is her brother Ervin. They live at De Jesus, Bagong Barrio, Kalookan (near the church). I have sought Brod Allan Mangubat's assistance and I was told that this was a depressed area so it's not advisable for me to go there without back-up.

This morning, when I called my number again, it was already out of reach but fortunately, the reluctantly kind-hearted Ervin have already given me their landline number.^_^

Don't get me wrong, the cellphone is not THAT expensive, in fact, it's not even poly nor is it colored. I'm going through all these trouble because of its sentimental value [cheesy!!!] and the 300+ contacts stored in the phonebook. It's not easy rebuilding that large a database, don't you think?

Wish me luck.


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*.* as if! @ 11:21:00 PM • • RBJ

I have to fucking learn to type my posts on notepad. This can't keep happening. Juicy ideas thrown out into oblivion.

I just finished typing a fucking thousand-word whining about this fucking loser accusing me of lying and voila!, the fucking blogger server failed. Or perhaps, it's a sign that posting it would render massive repercussions. Whatever.

I just wasted 15 minutes of my life. Fuck.

Make it a healthy blogger practice. Type on Notepad, copy-paste on compose pane. Grrr. I learned it the hard way.


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*.* as if! @ 11:14:00 PM • • RBJ

Better than Genius

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*.* as if! @ 4:40:00 PM • • RBJ

ASTRO

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*.* as if! @ 10:29:00 PM • • RBJ

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*.* as if! @ 10:00:00 PM • • RBJ

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*.* as if! @ 4:19:00 PM • • RBJ

I was at 70's Bistro last September 17 to heed the invitation of my dear friend Carlo and these people practically begged me to have my picture taken with them. They were kind enough to send me the pics.

The vocalist of the band who played that night, whose name turned out to be Kevin Roy handed me a pitcher of iced tea-looking fluid. I don't take drinks from strangers of course, not to mention the fact that all 4 of them have been drinking from the same pitcher. He said I don't know their band personally but everyone in the country knows them. Not everyone, I argued, coz their band name Razorback doesn't ring a bell. He convinced me by saying only cool people get to take a sip from that pitcher. WTF?! That iced tea tasted really bad. Further, he confessed it was rhum-coke. Hmmm... not bad for an alcoholic drink.

That boy Kevin found me sooo irresistible he even asked for a kiss!!! [on the tongue, mind you]

His bandmate Tirso saw the photo shoot and asked for one too! [while puffing his tobacco] Sheesh, if only I could've said no. But these guys said pics with them will cost a lot in the future as their fame heightens.

A few minutes later, he approached me - Manuel Legarda of a band named Wolfgang. As with the previous band, I've never heard of this one but, boy, did my heart race! He said we had to have our picture taken so that we can show our future grandkids how their grandparents met.

SNAP BACK TO REALITY!!!

I've been daydreaming again. But yeah, Kevin did offer the rhum-coke and I did take a sip. I think I made quite a commotion for them to notice me since we were sitting right in front of the stage and I was screaming,"Gitna!" at the top of my lungs. [requesting the band to perform a cover of Wolfgang's Center of the Sun]

Phew! What a night that was! A million thanks to you, Carlo, my faithful servant. You can steal my ideas on this blog, anytime. Just don't forget to give me appropriate acknowledgement on your album. Got it?

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*.* as if! @ 10:07:00 PM • • RBJ