I am human. I can only take as much emotional strain.


Last night, my SSB [Single Since Birth] best friend came running to me and poured out her frustrations and heartaches on finally being mutually in love with a guy. I consoled her only to find out that the guy she was talking about was actually one of our friends who has a girlfriend with a heart ailment in the States. It was the same guy I warned her has subtle signs of being attracted to her.

I've taken care of my best friend for so long. I tried to keep her away from the claws of the assholes and jerks of this world. I didn't want her hurt the way I've been more than a couple of times. NOBODY EVER LISTENS TO ME!!!

My so-called best friend asked me what to do. Oh, how I wished I'd recorded every hurtful advice and insult she gave me when I was still my weak self. Had I known her "not-in-a-rush-boys-can-wait" attitude was all a facade, I would've carried a tape recorder everytime we were toegther. She's still a girl slaved by boys. Ugh. It gives me gooseflesh.

This is her battle. I am merely a cheerleader. She got herself into it; she's the only one who can get herself out. I don't sound like a good friend, do I? That is because I feel like I hardly know her anymore, much less be her best friend.


I invited Abe to join us last night for a guy's POV. At around 2, I can barely keep my eyes open in exhaustion. I practically had to beg them to let me go home.

Abe thought I was drunk so he insited the two of them drop me off at home. I hate it when guys do that. To any other girl, it would've been sweet to know that a guy is concerned about her. But I'm not just any other girl. I can well find my way home even on the wee most dangerous hours of the day. I don't need a Hansel dropping bread crumbs to lead my way.


I'm suffering from the Carrie Syndrome. I've been taking care of myself long enough that I'm afraid of being taken care of because I might get used to it and crave it when it's gone. If anyone's going to spoil me rotten, that would none other than be myself.


I found out this morning that the two of them went to Dematisse after dropping me off and didn't go home until twas blinding [i.e. after sunrise]. I was gripped with jealousy and annoyance. I know my so-called best friend is not a boy-stealer but I also knew that she's not that comfortable with newly-acquainted guys as to go to a bar with him in the middle of the night so that proves how much I know.

I thought it was odd that the two people I introduced ended up together without me. What annoys me more is that my so-called best friend is such a pain to ask out and there she was at 3 in the morning in a bar in Malate with a stranger. MY stranger. She didn't even catch my sarcasm when I texted "Nag-Dematisse pa pala kayo kagabi hanggang umaga pagkahatid nyo sa kin. Sana naman masaya ka na." Fuck being a responsible professional. I should've just gone and I wouldn't be seething right now.


I texted Kuya about Pangee's dress for his wedding. That's when he told me Mum and Pop aren't invited. Apparently, Mum made a scene at the Pamanhikan and Kuya couldn't risk that during his big day. If my brother doesn't want his own parents at his wedding, I'm uninviting myself.

WTF?! My family is in deep shit. I couldn't buy nor create a new one. This is the only one I have. Something has to be done. Ate to the rescue. My ass.


My IQ-20 staff talked back on me while I was scrubbing him clean for failing to accomplish an assigned task because he mothafuckin forgot. I have tolerance to the ignorant and stupid [excuse my laziness for euphemism] but I most certainly do not have the patience to deal with the rude and uncultured.

I'm releasing my very first employee reprimand memorandum and it's not funn at all. Being bossy is so much easier than actually being a boss.


My weekend in Puerto Galera seems surreal. I'm back to my reality. Maybe one of these days, I'll pack my bags and settle in Galera for good.

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*.* as if! @ 5:05:00 PM • • RBJ