there's gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me

If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Don't effin' blame the chef!

Monday, May 31, 2004


Before you cringe and whisper obscenities about how bluntly I put it, let me correct you now and avoid further misapprehensions.

MY HAIR got devirginized today. Yep, had it relaxed. Subjected it to what Maxene calls hair monsters. chemicals. inconsiderable vanities. shaved a hefty amount from my paycheck.


I just have to admit that blessed as I am, no one can have it all. I was born and will die with unruly wavy hair.

But, gorgeous nonetheless... hihihi.

The People I know

I was browsing around Friendster and was aghast when I noticed that I have 498 friends already.

What the...!?

I still have, like, a gazillion people to add up!

So, I scanned my friend list, double-checked if there is a stranger hangin' around somewhere, and whatd'yaknow?! There isn't one. Now, I'm driven to open up a new account. Haven't yet. Still contemplating on it. Coz no matter how many times I ask myself why I should, I can't think of any reason to. Puro pa-cute lang naman mga tao sa Friendster. Hahaha! Just like me! ;)

Things are made to be broken

This isn't a metaphor or anything. I mean it literally.

My beloved antique-kunyari bracelet with blue swarovski crystals given by a beloved someone snapped. huhuhu... Tried to have it repaired today. Will find out tomorrow.

Until then, please pray for the dying soul of that poor bracelet. *tear*

More Tears

There's something terribly wrong with my dear Rozl. We can't deny it any longer. Her health is not in top shape.

I was near tears when she texted me what happened yesterday. She just blacked out and collapsed in church. Oh, man. Now I'm near tears thinking of it.

Dear God, please don't let anything bad happen to Rozl. Better yet, don't take her away from us yet. Not anytime soon, please? Pretty please? I can't bear life without her. She's the ate I never had. She's my soulmate. She's the other half of this millenium's superheroes. Without her, Wonder Bag won't have her Super Fine. And that would downright suck. Please, Good Lord. I promise I won't smoke another stick again when her future diagnoses show she's perfectly fine. That she is, indeed, Super Fine.

*.* as if! @ 11:30:00 PM • • RBJ

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Overhaul Again?!

Tadah! Yep, this is the 3rd time I made revisions to my blog. THIRD in SEVEN months! Hmmm... Reminds me much of my past relationships. Hahaha!

Well, the idea for this one popped to my mind last Friday while stuck and sticky in traffic along Sucat. I was having one of those random brain stormings and hey... I love Vanilla Sky sooo much that I oughtta include it in my life. But I don't think I'll stick with this one coz I think using frames is a bit messy. Just checked if I can unearth our html lessons from CMSC2 from my deteriorating brain.

Describe yourself: Many guys are offering to make me the Sofia of their lives yet I settle to be Julie Gianni to one. How pathetic. Aaaargh! What the hell is wrong with me?!

Freaky Wednesday

TGIS had an emergency assembly last Wednesday at Loiza's. Why? Um, let's just say I can keep a secret. For the meantime anyway.:p

Present were Loiza [duh!], Jessica, Alvin and Jeff. Julie and Nog would've come but they're taking advantage of the last days of summer. They're soaking it up in Puerto Galera! *inggit*

Here's the read deal: Loiza has a new phone and as usual, we ignoramuses tinkered on it, and turned into photo maniacs! Which we later regretted. Why? Well... we were spooked.

I don't think it's because we watched The Ring way too many times but well... Alvin's pics were all blurred. They were okeiii in thumbnail view but his face just won't appear when the pic is opened. All that appears is a blur of colors, much like the pic of a speeding vehicle. Got a clear image now?

Scary noh?! But, fortunately, nothing bad has happened to Alvin yet. Hmmm... maybe because it hasn't been seven days yet? Hahaha! That's right, Floi. Spook yourself some more.

Need for Speed

Watched drag racing last Friday at Macapagal Highway [Avenue? Boulevard?].

Cool! Cool! Cool!

Then, we had some drinks at Pier One in CCP Complex which washed me with too many memories. Geez... why do you have to be everywhere to me?!

The Hell You're Doin' Here?!

I know that sounds mean but that's what I wanted to say to Astro when he made a surprise appearance at Kuya's birthday party last night. Turns out, Jane invited him.

So, yah, that's okeiii. He came coz he was invited. But need I feel obligated to attend to him? I wasn't the one who invited him, anyway. But of course, I entertained him since I don't easily forget. I just told myself that one sign of him being mushy-gushy and I'm outta there.

Thing is, I had a plan set for that night to go to Resty's for his brother's grad party. So, I told Astro it's okeiii if he wanted to stick around. He said he'll just leave with me.

We paid the fare, me getting off at Golden Gate and him at Alabang. But when I got off, he did too. Apparently, he overheard Jane and me talking about the possiblity of me spending the night at Ludwig's since it is only on the other street of Resty's and he wanted to meet Ludwig. He said he has a few words for the boy.

Halleeer! That's a laugh.

Astro ended up staying till 4am and I ended up being bugged by my friends about tending to him. Hey! I ain't letting him ruin my night! He gotta know that he can't keep just popping in and expecting to get my full attention. I HAVE a life. Hopefully, someday he will too.

Evil Light On

Em texted me last Wednesday ranting about a certain Kerokeroppi calling her names and insulting her altogether behind her back. Stupid Kero vented it all out to his cousin who happens to be Em's good friend. You can never understand some people's stupidity.

So, anyway, Kero is my Ex's present girlfriend's brother who "thinks I'm cute". He's also member of owsixtyone which is the new berks' [Resty, Basti & Kinot] berks. Talk about coincidences. Now, I'm thinking of giving him the time of day only to crush him later. He deserves it. No man talks about my friends like that. Only thing holding me back is Em being such a goody-goody as usual.

Laguna Pics

I'm gaining popularity for my killer photo expressions!c",)
I was actually swallowing a piece of Spicy Oishi.
Oh, and that's Raymond. The last boy of the barkada in existence.

Floi, Em, Tin and Khrysa
This summer's ultimate gimik buddies!

[More pics to be uploaded to my pbase]

*.* as if! @ 6:43:00 PM • • RBJ

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Better Days Nights

Gone too soon...*sigh*

Moving on...


Geesh... I just noticed I blogged for four days straight last week. Spectaculah is back in business. If it weren't for my Thursday gimik, I would have hit the jackpot.Ü


As expected, Thursday night was a blast. Present were moi, Sheila, Roselle, Kim, Jinger, Berong, Francis and Garett.

We had dinner at Sentro, stuffed myself with their yummy Sizzling Tofu and we sang our hearts out at IO in Jupiter where the bill was enough for us to call a night [morning rather]. Our little party died at a little past 4am. I took a cab home, and hit the sack without even removing anything that I had on for the whole day.

I gotta stop doing this to myself. Over two months at work means over two weeks of nonstop gimiks. Heck, I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep since. But, it's all good. I've never had this much fun. Oh, live fast; die young. Hahaha!

Miting de Avance

Friday night was devoted to finalizing the plans for our Saturday outing. [Yah, despite the reported typhoon] Okeiii, so for the past weeks, I've been hanging out a lot with my long-lost-but-never-forgotten high school buddies. And that's a lot! Perhaps more than the number of times I hung out with them since I excommunicated myself to Los Baños. Not that I'm complaining.

So, anyway, the plan included some new peeps which have been hanging out with the group recently. These new peeps are, in fact, buddies of Tin's boyfriend Resty. Isn't it weird that that is somehow what always happens when a couple hooks up? Again, not that I'm complaining.

By midnight, I could barely keep my eyes open. I was wasted, man! Dead-tired. The first time in my entire life for me to feel intolerable exhaustion. Haha! Like a virgin...Ü

Stubborn Gimikeros and Gimikeras

Saturday was one hell of a rainy day. But, no rainchecks for us.

We met up at 8pm at Tin's house and experienced the outing of our lives [for the present anyway]! We girls were a bit disappointed, though, coz the original boys of our barkada were nowhere to be found. But, it's okeiii. Kinot, Basti and Resty were more than enough to take their spaces. Hehehe...

The weather was cooperative and it didn't shower till around 4am which was okeiii coz we've had more than enough fun in the water already.

By 10am Sunday, I was snuggled up under my blanket and finally said hello to the sandman.Ü A bit tired, but a gazillion happy.

[Pics to follow]

Skip Sunday

As aforementioned, my Saturday ended at 10am of Sunday. With the blinds closed and not a degree of heat, I woke up past 6pm already and realized that Sunday passed me by. I just ate half a pizza, went online, chatted with baby sis Pau-Pau [haha! As if] a bit and went back to bed.
Just a thought... I've been driven through Makati Ave. thrice the past week and Usher's Burn played on the car radio everytime. Now, it's playing on Chevy's webby. Wala lang.

*.* as if! @ 12:00:00 PM • • RBJ

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Coming Home

Just got home. I'm dead tired but I gotta blog about the fun ordeal I went through tonight.

My Geek and I decided to meet up at Shangri-La coz he wanted to make me feel good after he heard the whole Ludwig thingy. But that was an ordeal in itself coz I realized that it's super hard to take public transportation when it rains. What's the relationship with traffic and the rain?! We'll never know. Perhaps motorists drive extra carefully with the slippery road and all.

So, anyway, Dumz and I had to take a Pasig jeepney and get off right after the flyover and walk back before crossing on to Shang. My Geek called saying he was already in front of Starbucks then so I hurried up despite my skirt and mile-high platforms.

The moment I saw my Geek I knew the trouble was worth it. He was Über cute and sweet as usual.

After we had our feel-good moments, I told him to drop me off at Pasay Rotonda where I THOUGHT it was easier to hail a cab. Was I wrong! We were arguing the whole drive, him wanting to drive me straight home and me being content with being dropped off. I was considerate of the fact that he worked his ass off the whole day and had to drive home to Tomas Morato. The drive was romantic? or maybe I was just being cheesy with him holding my hand at the stoplight, the rain falling hard on the windshield and Usher singing Burn on the radio.

At Pasay, right under the LRT coz the space under the MRT station was flooded, I realized that I made a Big Mistake! The hell with cabs! Nothing is accessible when you most need it. I had to pee so I went to McDo. On the way, I fell on an open manhole up to my right knee!!! I thought it was safe to thread through the ankle high flood with my platforms. Found out later he went back coz I left my phone with him and that he really wanted to drive me home so he can be sure I'm safe.

So, I was back under the LRT, near tears and feeling completely helpless, here comes Mr. Ron who works for Teletech in Asia Mall asking if I wanted to share a cab. Sure, I said, then asked if I can use his cell to text. I texted my Geek and he called and he was already in Makati and was taking a U-turn when Mr. Ron hailed a cab. We were sharing one, weren't we? Or maybe he invited me in coz I was still holding his phone.

So, there. Now, I'm here. All dried up and sanitized. My Geek's dropping my phone off at the office early tomorrow morning. I'm just scared that when I see him, I'll miss work altogether and just spend the day being treated like a queen.Ü

*.* as if! @ 11:40:00 PM • • RBJ

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

UG Reunion

UG - my first barkada ever!!! We go way back to 5th grade. So, anyway, last Saturday was special coz I was able to see them again after, get this, high school graduation! Of course I didn't mean see as in literally see, y'know. It was the first time in college that we had another of those drinking sprees. 'nuff of that, let the pics speak.

I have pretty friends, don't I?
[l-r] Jonna, Ica, Aglaia, Kate and Mimay. Nah, I'm not in that pic. Just wanna post!:p

There's me way over theeere!
[l-r] Regie, Mimay, Ica, Aglaia, Jonna, Chris, Alvin, Patoots and MOI!!! Everyone decided to bring their boyfriends. Everyone except for moi, Ica and Aglaia who have no boyfriend to bring to start with. Kate, well, she just didn't want to bring hers. And Alvin? He sure would have us beating him if he did bring a boyfriend. Heck, he's straight! Oh, notice Aglaia's UNIQUE facial complexion and we only had like a couple of San Migs each.Ü

Million thanks to Jowein and Photobucket for the publish of these pics.

*.* as if! @ 8:00:00 PM • • RBJ

Monday, May 17, 2004

Stuck on You

No matter how hard I try...
No matter how much I force myself to stay away...
No matter how much I tell myself you're just a waste of my time...
No matter what...

I just can't get enough of you, baby.
My baby - committed to on the 23rd of November.
Dear, sweet spectaculah.

I just wanna be mushy. Excuse me. Hehehe. Me got nobody to vent out my mushiness. Nobody DESERVING anyway. So, anyway...


Today is Bloc X2's 3rd anniversary [i.e. we had our First Bloc Encounter on May 17th '01]. Unfortunately, I only got to text a few people to greet them coz my paleolithic sim card didn't allow me to store all 16 numbers. So, anyway, yah, I'm the mushy-gushy ever-irresponsible bloc rep.

Sue and Rona are taking their practicum in NSO in Lipa while Myla and Edmyr are going for a PhD on Stat 144. Andie and Love, however, are never heard from again ever since they left the beautiful land of Los Baños. Insignificant trivia. But I just wanted to mention it.

Anyway, that very same day, I didn't join the oh-so-fun campus tour to rush home and give Godfrey the most-coveted YES. Which tells us that, I was a stupid li'l girl three years ago. Didn't I say I'm not the same girl I used to be? Well, something tells me I'm not.

Floi on MTV

I love the rain! So, I was on a bus making it's way through baclaran and I was sitting by the window and I realized that...

Hey! This'll make one hell of an MTV! With the raindrops on the window and that perverse song from Les Miserables [Don't ask me why, it's another one of my eccentric light-bulb ideas]playing in my head, I can't help but put on a silly expression and actually feel the emotions. Hahaha! I felt like Nicole on that War of Nerves video. Cheezy!!!

Thursday Club

Thursday. Makati. Sheila. Roselle. Lou-Anne. Jinger. Mae[?]. Garrett[?]. Moi[?]-not me but Nelmoi. Moi!!!-now, that's me.

Patayan na naman 'toh! Pero masaya.Ü

*.* as if! @ 9:34:00 PM • • RBJ

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Going on Vacation

Verbal Drought
Bye for now. *kisses*

One Last Thing

Mark made this for me. Just wanted to publish. But, of course, it underwent intensive proof-reading before making its way here. [Don't ruin it, Floi]:p Me and my grammar obssession. Sheesh. Thanks, man!

10 Things...

1. I hate your phone because my number is not stored in your phone memory and it makes me feel like “kung sino-sino lang” the same way I hate ur blogs;
Now you're not so "kung sino-sino" lang anymore.
2. I hate it when you are always late but as if I can do anything;
Hihi. Accept me for what I am.
3. I hate it when you smoke when we are together even though I tell you not to and when I talk to you when you are drunk coz we tend to hate each other after;
Hahaha! Oki, no more Mark+Floi after Red Horse.
4. I hate you when you lie to me coz it really makes my heart cry out;
I do not! I only not tell you the whole truth. There's a difference.
5. I hate you when you sing coz it is painful to my eardrums but I love to hear your voice so much;
Oh c'mon, I know you're one of my biggest fans!
6. I hate your contradicting words; it makes me paranoid sometimes;
Me and my million contradictions. Trivial.
7. I hate it when you say you don’t believe in love but certainly you do…;
By now you know I say a lot of things I don't necessarily mean to.
8. I hate the way you smile coz you look like an angel;
9. I hate all the men that is in your mind right now; and
Wala ngang men e. Boys lang. Joke!
10. I hate to hate you.

*.* as if! @ 8:20:00 PM • • RBJ

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Floi Reborn

Oh, how original.

I killed myself yesterday.

Before you confuse yourself with how I was able to click-clock on my keyboard to relay this, you do realize that I meant it figuratively, don't you? You better, you silly half-wit.

So, yah, I'm back to my old self, detaching myself from any form of emotional string to whatsoever is taking place in my lame pathetic excuse for a life. It's really easy, mind you - easy as making an elephant fit into a fridge. That was an old school joke but I consider it applicable. Not!

As per my boss/therapist's diagnosis, I am a complex girl NOT on the verge of a breakdown. Coz I already am suffering from enjoying it! "How lovely", says a spectator. SPECTATOR is my middle name. Can I just say outside-looking-in?

So, she goes about day by day, smiling at every face her eyes lay upon, throwing a joke or two to lighten up a frown. Deep inside, even she did not know that her soul was in fact, already hollow. After realizing she swallowed more than she can chew, [Eureka! The princess has awakened!] she took off her load and assesed where she was exiled to. [Alas! It was she who banished herself!] With a kick on the shin and a poke on the head, she focused on what was in store ahead. The girl with gifts more marvelously combined than Cuervo Gold, a pinch of salt and some lime, got rid of the rats infesting her closet for a long time.

Wheee! It's always easier to be in the third person. So much more fun!

Toink-toink with a Hammer

P0k2 k tlga!Y r u
so dumb?! Haay,i
ges sum thngs
nver rily
chnge!Gnyan k
tlga.. Mula ky
g0dfrey!Anu yn my
trend!I wudnt
b surprisd if ul
end up being a



Thanks girlfriend! That really made me feel a whole lotta better.
But honestly, I appreciate your honesty. [excuse the pun] Not the judgement, though.
That's the thing with TGIS, we never judge each other. That's why I love you guys! True friends stab you at the front? Nah. True friends don't stab you at all.

Please try your call later

Knew the sign
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while to regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

Is this a lyric page or what?!

Hahaha! I plan on devoting this blog to the publish of the lyrics of the soundtracks of my life. Enjoy.

Kaya nga ONE kase ISA lang e tapos...

One Night, One Kiss
Only One Feeling Exists
One Breath, One Touch
But I've Never Felt This Much

And I, I Wanna Share My Whole Life With You
I Wanna Keep On Dreaming Dreams And With You
Make Them All Come True
As I Lay Inside Your Arms
And Rest My Head Upon Your Shoulder
Believe Me There's Nothing That I Can't Do
Whenever We're Together

One Time, One Place
With The Warmest Sweet Embrace
One Joy, One Pain
Only True Love Can Sustain

And I, I Wanna Share My Whole Life With You
I Wanna Keep On Dreaming Dreams And With You
Make Them All Come True
As I Lay Inside Your Arms And
Rest My Head Upon Your Shoulder
Believe Me There's Nothing That I Can't Do
Whenever We're Together

I Can Never Be The Same Girl That I Used To Be
I'm Stronger Now
'Cause You've Made Me Face The Fear In Me
And You Don't Have To Prove Yourself At All
In Making Wrong Things Right
The Fact That You Love Me
Makes Everything All Right

And I, I Wanna Share My Whole Life With You
I Wanna Keep On Dreaming Dreams And With You
Make Them All Come True
As I Lay Inside Your Arms And
Rest My Head Upon Your Shoulder
Believe Me There's Nothing That I Can't Do
Whenever We're Together

I especially love the BOLDed stanza!
Great. Great.
Kelangan bang times two parati?! May naaalala ka lang yata Floi e.

No... No...

I rest my case.

*.* as if! @ 11:05:00 PM • • RBJ

Tuesday, May 11, 2004


I'm in the office. With the boss in a business meeting in Pampanga with an investor and the other boss in Paseo de Roxas dealing with some banking affairs, I can pretty much do anything I want.Ü

My first agenda was to call up Chevy. But her voice mailbox picks up so, scrap that one. I approved a couple of testimonials which is a waste of effort since sooner or later it will vanish into oblivion anyway. I added up a couple of friends and now, I'm bored!

Got time for another narrative?

One of the reasons for my previous post is that the secret is out. What secret!? That I have been dating some Loser boy.

Astro knows so no point keeping it under wraps anymore. His reaction was a bit far out. At first, he wanted to pound the guy, not only for doing me wrong, but also for doing a sis wrong. You see, Astro is one of the few brods who respects and has a high regard to the sisses. Then, after hearing the whole story over the phone yesterday [or was it Sunday? Damn, my memory needs an oil change], he was defending and protecting the guy from my evil plot of revenge. What the heck is that? He says he empathizes with the guy and I ought to give Ludwig another shot. The hell Ludwig deserves his empathy! Now, I'm starting to look like the bad guy for believing Chevy. WTF!?

He says the same damn thing my friends are saying. That I should stay on side Ludwig's side since Chevy is probably what Ludwig is claiming her to be - a bitter ex out to ruin Ludwig's happiness. If it weren't for Chevy's intrusion, Ludwig and I would still be the picture perfect couple with a picture perfect relationship.

Oh man! Like I'd rather be happy in a lie than lament over the truth. Helloooo! Can't anyone give me some credit?

Astro is saying that I obviously still have feelings for the boy and that I'm being such a hypocrite for disregarding them. Hahaha! I don't deny that I do; I'm not stone-cold, y'know. But feelings aren't enough to establish a stable foundation for a relationship. Coz if it were, then, I'd still be with Astro now.

Just for the record, I'm staying on Chevy's side. Coz she's someone who really deserves the empathy.


Head Over Heels

I don't care if you giggle like a girl and how it melts my insides...
I don't care if you literally had me at "hello"...
I don't care if you call me on my cellphone for hours at a time even if your dad will kill you with the bill...
I don't care if you drive like a mad man and how it excites me a lot...
I don't care if you kiss me while we're on a stoplight...
I don't care if you erase my carefully drawn eyebrows and tell me you like me better without makeup on...
I don't care if you can deal with my tardiness...
I don't care if you watch over me when I'm sleeping...
I don't care if you are capable of indulging me in a good conversation...
I don't care if you are spontaneous the I want a guy to be...
I don't care if you buy me Choco Peanut...
I don't care if you worry I might drink a shot too many...
I don't care if you hug me when I pretend to be get scared when watching a movie...
I don't care if you press me to quit smoking coz it might develop into an unbreakable habit...
I don't care if you sling your arm around me when we are in public...
I don't care if you tell everyone I'm your girlfriend even without my permission...

I don't care. I DON'T CARE.
coz I'm not in love.

Maybe if I keep telling myself that my heart will catch on.
I sooo love the consistency of this post. Ciao!

*.* as if! @ 9:49:00 AM • • RBJ

Sunday, May 09, 2004

The Genesis

Disconnect Y!. Log out of Friendster. Close all other windows. This requires my full attention.

I go online like every night before I found a job. One night, with my nick parked in one of the Y! chatrooms, a certain putcha_gwapo_ako PM-ed me asking where I got my nick. I proudly answered and he went "Sis! Lemme introduce myself. I'm Ludwig Jimenez, 02 San Beda." Of course I didn't believe him at first coz I've encountered some wishful thinkers. I quizzed him about the fraternity and all and we chatted for like an hour before I said goodbye. I saw him on webcam and I sent him a pic. Aside from the fact that he IS a brod, he didn't interest me at all.

We chatted seldomly after that, just hi's and hello's when we caught each other online. There were times he'd wanna come over at the wee hours of the night coz he said he was bored at home. I was like "Duh! As if being a brod is enough to make me trust you." I wish that mentality stuck.

One Sunday, I got my invitation to an interview to the company and since he was already online, I asked him for directions. After a loooong discussion, he offered to drive me to the office since his class was at 1pm. My interview was set at 9am and we decided to meet up at 7 in Zapote.

Lunes, Marso 8

Being the punctual person that I am, I was awakened with his call at a little over 830. He was asking me if he still had to wait for me and I said if he can, please do. We met up at 930. My first impression was that judging by his clothes alone, he was very unlike the brods [UPLB brods] I was accustomed to seeing. We shook hands and were on the road. We talked but I was really taken aback coz of how much the guy can speak. Man! The girl who can talk at the rate of 10,000,000 words a minute was shut up by a guy. So anyway, he got me there before 1030 and he was gonna wait till the interview is through but I had him go ahead. I remember texting him and thanking him for the favor and all that. Now, I wish I didn't let him do me any favor.

Biyernes, Marso 12

We were planning on meeting up for a gimik after watching the Incubus concert. We agreed to just text each other to coordinate. As I've blogged before, I wasn't able to watch the concert and just went to Common Ground with TGIS. I didn't text him coz I was counting on seeing Moonlight Man that night. Well, guess what?! We were merely separated by a wall! They were at Clubber's Guide. So near yet so far, indeed. [Haven't I used that phrase before?]

Miyerkules, Marso 24

It was his last day at school and we decided to go out. He had an exam till 7pm so I had to wait for him at Starbucks Shangri-La till he showed up at 830. Our first stop was 65B. The place was empty except for some UE brods in a meeting. We left a little before midnight and agreed on driving up to Antipolo. [Cloud Nine, beybeh! elk.] He told me he doesn't smoke and asked me to teach him. The guy can sure lie. He was all cough-y and stuff and well, convincing.

Floi + Wengweng + Marlboro + whole day at work = palpitations

He was genuinely [!?!] concerned and kept asking me if I wanted to be taken to the hospital. He massaged my shoulders but like hell it helped. It only reminded me I should be more careful coz if he can do that, then my body's going numb and my defense mechanisms are down. [I'm the most ticklish person] Gets? Got home safe, though.

Sabado, Marso 27

The magic began. He invited me to a drinking session at his house with another brod but turned out, the other brod won't be able to make it. We drank while watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. As I've figured out by now, there is a reason why there are a lot of scary flicks in their DVD library. Smart.
I have to stop for now. Reminiscing about these just freshens up the pain. I don't even know why I'm blogging about this. Maybe coz I promised Chevy I will. Promises - A word alien to Ludwig. Oh, lookee! I mentioned his name! How funn.

*.* as if! @ 2:59:00 PM • • RBJ

Friday, May 07, 2004

Teleport Me

I'm going to LB!!! Yey!!! Whoopee!!! Whoohoo!!!

I can't express my elation for finally, FINALLY being able to go back home. Yep, they say home is where the heart is. Well, I left my heart in Los Baños!!!

How long has it been? Over a month? Almost two, actually.

I took off early from work and I'm just waiting for Nico to finish his errands then we're off!!! *sigh*

Blog about it when I get back.

*.* as if! @ 4:58:00 PM • • RBJ

Holy Cow!

We were on our way home on a cab from a gig in KPS bar at Julia Vargas when we were greeted by heavy traffic in EDSA. The cab driver was insisting on taking another route coz it WAS traffic but we had to pass by Shangri-La to drop Carlo off. I was already dozing off when... Voila! Kuya said the cause of traffic was a broken down bus. But, haller! What kind of accident would a bus meet along EDSA right under the Boni MRT station that would leave its back window broken and tires blown up?! It was a robbery shoot-out, no doubt.

I was really freaked out! My sleepiness just disappeared just like that. *snapping fingers* Someone was probably shot [not to death I pray] judging by the mess and number of cops around.

I'm just too glad we weren't in THAT bus. I pray for whoever was. Traumatic.


*.* as if! @ 1:15:00 AM • • RBJ

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Give Me Some Honey

Repost from January 3. Refers to a different person.

someone is being missed. badly.

worse, paranoia is kicking in and i'm thinking that this someone doesn't want to see nor talk to me anymore.

invisible mode is terrifying. petrifying. mortifying.

someone. someone. you know who you are. [i hope]

Deja Vu.
The worst way to miss someone is being beside him but knowing you can never have him.

A Glimpse...

I finally cried last night. A week and a day after the revelations, I cried [the three tears of anger doesn't count]. I cried for us, for him, for me, and for HER. I was thinking I didn't have the right to be hurt since I was an accessory to the crime. An unwilling and unknowing accessory, mind you. But still, it doesn't make me the victim per se.

By now, I can stop pretending he didn't break my heart. A week of denial is all I needed. I would be a hypocrite not to admit i miss the way we were before... that night. I miss it so bad. It's all too soon. But then, would I rather have not known?

to be continued...

You take my breath away

Literally!!! I was gasping for breath the whole day! Nah, it wasn't an asthma attack. I also had palpitations and my chest and back hurt like hell! Like being in the Iron Maiden. I was gonna go straight to the hospital from work to have it checked but I got lost and ended up in...
Ay! Bitin! :p

Stolen Testimonials

Sheesh... Testimonials dated 2004 vanished into thin air. These Friendster moderators are such thieves. Haaay... Can't live without Friendster!!! I wonder how I'll be when it disappears altogether. :,C

*.* as if! @ 11:41:00 PM • • RBJ

Tuesday, May 04, 2004


Work is treating me quite well these days. Just follow-ups and look-outs for recently published articles about the company. Oh, and sending out thank-yous to the VIP's who extended their support at the press con. It helps that the boss is Über happy with the quantity of media exposure in lightening up the atmosphere in the office.

I'm also starting to love Boy-Next-Door. Not love LOVE , i.e. love that hurts but love coz he's gonna make my work a lot easier for me. Their firm will be in charge of everything to be done in the soon-to-be corporate office. The boss finally got sick of Sungit Summit One Tower. He even offered to provide the conference table I was scouting out for the laboratory but unfortunately purchased last Friday. Too late. Huhu.

Anyway, the business cocktail I went to last Thursday turned out to be just hanging out with the big boys. It was at Teak in Rockwell. Cosmopolitan galore!!!:p Conrad, the proprietor of the architectural firm kept apologizing for the "boys' terms" they kept using. I was like "Duh! As if!" deep inside but Vic kept reminding me on the way to try to behave. So, I just waved the apologies off and ahem, kept flashing my 10-karat smile. Haha!

Small world. Paqui, one of the big boys, turned out to be Sheila[who I was meeting up with later that night]'s groupmate in their ME [Master of Entrepreneurship] course at AIM [Asian Institue of Management]!!! Hahaha! He didn't remember her name at first but he did when I mentioned water girl and after I showed him my earring on the cartilage. Sheila has one too.


After Teak, I took off to Temple to meet up with my beloved sisterettes Roselle and Sheila. We had one hell of a great time! Man, I missed those ladies. Did I mention we are virtually related by blood? Sheila is both my and roselle's sorority sponsor. Thing is, I was going to get Roselle for my ninang but I can't coz she was member of the membership committee then so I chose Sheila. Talk about being meant to be!!!

So, anyway, we were talking about that night being THE night. Night of what I wasn't sure but we were keen on making it an unforgettable one. My Geek showed up with his friend Paddington Bear and they definite;y made our night, um, less boring? c",) Paddington Bear is fun to play with. We dared him to kiss the bouncer and letting him do anything he wants to with anyone of us. I was pretty confident in making the bet coz I knew he won't be able to pull it off. Plus, my Geek will surely not let him to anything to moi! Roselle, however, was really freaked out coz Paddington Bear wasn't discreet in making his intentions known.

The loser prevailed. The bouncer shook his fist at Paddington Bear. Hahaha! The dare queen wins!!!
Haha! That Buddha pic doesn't even look like the one in Temple. I just wanna post it. Walang kokontra! Blog ko toh.Ü

Fiesta without the Festivities

It was Fiesta in Bayan last Sunday. Sad, it wasn't as festive as it used to be the past years. It's like nobody had the spirit to actually be on fiesta mode. I approximate the number of Josephians from our batch to be 1/4 of the past. Fiestas used to be one big reunion. Now, it's just torturing yourself under the sun with uncivilized people. Mean term. Hmmm... how else can I describe them? People like me? Haha!

Gun Crazy

Something exciting happened last Sunday. We were at Ninoy's house for his brother sister's debut [18th birthday] when this trike driver burned out his trike right in front of the house. At first, we were joking the guy was mad because someone didn't pay the fare. The smoke even hyped us up. Then, Ninoy's drunk uncle confronted the trike driver who sped away after a few minutes. We thought that was the end of it.

Then he comes back, got off his trike and pulled something from his pants garter while hastily approaching the gate. The weapon turned out to be a gun which drove us scrambling into the house. We were hella scared, pare! Ninoy's parents took care of everything, took the trike driver to the cops and had the whole incident blottered. We, on the other hand, spent the rest of the night taking cover. Hahaha! Paranoid freaks.


Based on recent surveys this statistician has conducted, the next best cyber thing as of 11:40 pm May 4, 2004 is... Weblogs!!! [Friendster still hogging the top spot.] Hahaha! Kidding! As if I'll do anything related to Statistics.

I'd like to welcome Ishee to the weblog circuit!!! She's a sorority sister I SO envy admire. Visit her to find out why!!!Ü
I have a booger stuck up my nose the whole day. I sounded too nasal on the phone. I hate it. Boss was sneezing and sniffing the whole day. Man! He might have infected me!

*.* as if! @ 9:03:00 PM • • RBJ

Saturday, May 01, 2004


I can't blog. I'm too hyped up over something. Can't wait for June! Coz that's when I'll drop an immensely destructive bomb. It's still under manufacture at the moment. I've never been this excited ever! And I've never had this overwhelming urge to crush someone. Pound him till he's all powdery and useless he'll wanna kill himself. I don't even feel any pity towards whatever he might end up to be after. He has turned me into the heartless bitch everyone mistakes me to be.

*.* as if! @ 3:40:00 PM • • RBJ


I'll be seeing you. Goodnight.

Find me here:


Palabras Finales

Remember me when you hear this

sleeps with butterflies ~ tori amos

Airplanes take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live?
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night?
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat?
I won't push you unless you have a net

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy

Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl, this girl

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy

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