I come from a coed barkada [peer group] of equal ratio. There is Loiza, Julie, Carmen, Ikang, Aising, Jeff, Alvin, Chris, Arturo, Erick and Nog. Six girls and six boys. They've been my friends for four years now and they've seen me through it all - the sadness, the happiness, the failures and the triumphs. I could not imagine me being myself without them. They played a major role in my journey of self-discovery. I consider myself lucky to be part of such a solid group. Solid TGIS. TGIS is what we call ourselves because we started out with going out on Saturdays which became a routine that even with our separate busy schedules, we move mountains just to meet.

It has always been an issue with us why it is so easy for us girls to tag our lovers [boyfriends or flings] along but it's not for the boys. When we go out, it is more likely one of the girls with an escort rather than one of the boys with his girl in tow. Either that, or we girls would be present but one of the boys would not be because his girlfriend did not allow him. What the hey is that?! We don't have a hard time asking for permission from our own parents once we tell them we're going out with our group but the girlfriends would play Mother Hen.

What is it with these girls? Sometimes, we girls think that the exact reason they don't allow our boys is the fact that they ARE with us. How insecure can you get? So, the relationships in our group haven't been platonic throughout; but, we're adults now and all that romance is behind us along with our juvenile ways. We are still the juvenile delinquents we used to be except we're no longer juveniles.

I like to believe that the friendship I have with these people is one that would surpass time and distance and it would accompany me till my last breath but how would that be possible if the guys are taken away one by one by the girls they love more than they do us? These are the girls they would want to marry, to build a family with, to spend the rest of their lives with. These are the girls who would, in front of God and their loved ones, vow to understand, cherish and love them as long as they live. Is the possiblity of fulfilling this vow evident in the way they are not respecting our boys' friendship with us?

I personally have camaraderie with my boys' friends. I stay friends with them even after the relationship. It's a matter of not burning bridges. I consider it a good sign when a boy introduces me to his friends. It tells me he's proud of me as his girl and that what is his is mine also. Isn't a relationship with freedom more likely to be honest rather than a relationship with constraints? In order to be with TGIS, our boy-friends end up lying to their girlfriends about their whereabouts. It doesn't make us happy because as girls ourselves, we know the feeling of being lied to and it isn't pleasant.

There shouldn't ever be a choice between lovers and friends. It's like apples and oranges. Guys, when a girl makes you choose, walk away. Any girl who does isn't worth losing your friends for. Nothing is worth losing friends for. Girls, trust your men. You're safest when he's with his friends. You're safest when your guy is with TGIS.

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*.* as if! @ 11:47:00 AM • • RBJ