I've never had a good relationship with my mother. All those times that I thought we were finally on the same wavelength, we weren't. Those were mere instances that we mutually decided on a ceasefire.

We were getting our Saturday dose of Showbiz chika when it all started. She invited me to get a facial to which I replied that I don't have the budget for that now. She then launched into this long chain of insults and questions as to where my salary goes. I won't hold it against her, I admit I do have a serious problem in spending my money. Four days after payday and I'm broke.

I thought that it is typical of wives and mothers to whine and nag. At this point, my mother is beyond typical. She's, without doubt, the worst whiner and nagger.

I've dealt with her for twenty years. To expect her to change now or anytime soon is to expect red to become blue. So, I developed this weapon of defense against her episodes of lunacy.

One thing I seem never to be prepared for is her insults against me as a person and as a woman. I can let other people insult me beyond reason but one thing I just can't swallow is my mother thinking less of me. She actually believes her beloved daughter is a whore and makes the most naive decisions.

My mother is the only person who is successful in making me feel bad about myself and I hate her for it.

Before leaving the house to cool off at my brother's place, I told her something that really broke my heart. I saw her hand flying to my cheek which I involuntarily dodged. All throughout the argument, not a single tear trickled from my eyes but they rivered out as I say, "Eventually, you're gonna grow old alone because you've pushed as all away. Be happy alone."

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*.* as if! @ 5:30:00 PM • • RBJ