there's gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me



If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Don't effin' blame the chef!

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Christmas Gift

I didn't ask for much this Christmas. Well, except for the car, my wish list isn't that hard to fulfill. Despite the present state of my love life which is in close proximity to being non-existent, I am happy. I'm not just saying that to convince whoever is reading this nor myself but because it's the truth. It's quite evident. My eyes aren't that good in concealing how I feel though my laughter is.

I've always been someone with a happy disposition - the optimist. The person who consistently doesn't dwell on the ugly happenings and looks at the brighter side. Contrary to what this blog may have brought its readers to deduce, I am generally a happy person. Happy persons don't go around threatening other persons. Nah-uh. Not even girls who agree to be used by guys who wants to get rid of their girlfriends. No. No. No.

I found out a few days ago and I let it pass. But amidst all the happiness around and inside me, my overanalytical mind wouldn't rest. I just have to let it out.

This girl [I have the courtesy not to divulge her name] has been asking my brods about me, not because she wants to get to know me me but because it's her prologue to... get this... telling them that I've been sending her SMS of threats about waiting for her outside their school and the like. If I may quote L overheard by C telling M,"'tol, si Floi eh inaaway si [girl]". To confirm it, the girl personally approached C and asked,"Kilala mo ba si Floi? Kase inaaway nya 'ko sa text eh."

Honestly, I'm not affected at all. I'm not in rage. I'm not on defensive mode. I'm not. It's actually a laughing matter for me.

Okeiii, I've professed myself to be a bitch countless of times but that doesn't connote that I'm evil. Hello! I've always been open-minded and understanding because I believe that we are now living in a liberal society free of preconceptions; anyone who thinks the former automatically meaning the latter oughtta get out of the shell he's been inhabiting.

I'm a good person. Again, I'm not just saying that to convince whoever is reading this nor myself but because it's the truth. Take Chevy and me for example. Chevy and I definitely started on the wrong foot. She lashed at me for stealing her then-boyfriend Ludwig right here on my very own blog. But I didn't steal anyone; I didn't really know the moron had a girlfriend hundreds of miles away. Thank God for Friendster, Chevy and I got to the bottom of things in 24 hours and even connived for our plan of revenge to the self-absorbed womanizer. A couple of months after that incident, we became the best of friends. [On a side note, I just realized that my messages on Friendster documented everything that transpired during those fateful couple of months]

I don't know and I don't care about the girl's number. Let me point it out on my example, CHEVY REACHED OUT TO ME. I didn't initiate the first move to contact. I guess it's because no matter how tactless and frank I may be, I have no idea how to open up the topic. Chevy was smart [of course she is]. She left a link on my tagboard then made sure her first entry was about Ludwig. That way, it seemed like I stumbled upon shit on a dark road instead of the shit being flung to my face. I admit, I tried to do it too. I left a message on the girl's Friendster profile containing nothing but a smiley and a hi and even added her as a friend. NR. Fine, I let it go. I also contemplated on getting her number to ask her personally about L but decided against it coz I can't see the point of doing so. Let me emphasize, I contemplated on getting her number to ask her personally about L, not to assail her at all.

Judging from the testimonials on her Friendster profile, she seems to be a nice girl. Everyone says so. When I asked L why he courted the girl if he didn't love her, he said,"Mabait kase sya". When C was asked if the girl is pretty, he said,"Mabait naman sya". Oh yeah, let me share this with you.

C's gf: Maganda ba si [girl]?
C: Mabait naman sya.
C's gf: Hindi nga, maganda ba sya? OO or Hindi.
C: Mabait nga sya e.
C's gf: Ang labo nun, sagutin mo kaya.
C: Ganito kase, kung ikukumpara mo kay Floi, hamak namang laki ng ganda ni Floi. Talampakan lang yata sya ni Floi eh. Pero kase... mabait sya.

What kind of answer is that?! It's as good as saying I'm pretty but I'm not good and guys want good girls. But IF she IS a good girl, why the bloody hell is she telling everyone that I've been bugging her on text?! Labo mann...

For the record, I've never attacked anyone, verbally nor physically. To be more specific, I've never attacked any girl because of a guy. It's just not my style. I'm a Sigma Betan and proud to be one. I wouldn't do anything to denigrate the name of my beloved sorority. We live by standards - that is what separates us from other Greek-letter societies - and the acts the I am being accused of are nothing short of unbecoming. Totally far-out! It would take more than a pigfaced liar and a slanderous pig to make me defy everything my sisters have inculcated in me.

I'd love to get to the bottom of this and to clear my name but I'm gonna throw in the towel on this one. I'd love a good competition on who's better than who but there's obviously no competition so why bother? I used to believe that I am one who doesn't get mad but gets even. I'm not going to stress myself this time; it's just not worth the effort. There isn't any competition at all!


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*.* as if! @ 10:14:00 PM • • RBJ

 


I'll be seeing you. Goodnight.

Find me here:

friendsterated

Palabras Finales

Remember me when you hear this

sleeps with butterflies ~ tori amos



Airplanes take you away again
Are you flying
Above where we live?
Then I look up a glare in my eyes
Are you having regrets about last night?
I'm not but I like rivers that rush in
So then I dove in
Is there trouble ahead
For you the acrobat?
I won't push you unless you have a net


You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly then boy


Balloons
Look good from on the ground
I fear with pins and needles around
We may fall then stumble
Upon a carousel
It could take us anywhere

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl, this girl

You say the word
You know I will find you
Or if you need some time
I don't mind
I don't hold on
To the tail of your kite
I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night
This girl only sleeps with butterflies
With butterflies
With butterflies
So go on and fly boy


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