when i turn out all the lights…
… i break down and cry.
wEdneSdaY niGHt.
after a loooong iterating discussion about the dumaguete thingy
i was tired of having to defend myself. i was tired of him making a BIG deal about everything. i was tired of soothing his insecure ass. i was just plain tired of people expecting something from me.
i was 0.001 angstroms away from taking my life and here was my boyfriend implying that i’m a whore. very helpful. i gave him a piece of my mind and broke everything off.
a week ago, i was talking about our relationship being on the way to recovery and that night, it experienced a
stroke.
just like that, 16 months, a million text messages and a quarter-sem worth of absences from class went to waste.
i ended up crying till a little after 5 am which goes without saying that i had extremely
another [couple of] day[s] in paradise
tHurSdAy.
9.00am
slept through the alarm again.
luckily, some unknown force woke me up.
it took me 10,000 years to get ready [simply because my clothes were everywhere but the closet]. plus, i had to fix pangee's lunch. the delay was a bit welcome coz it gave my eyes time to subside.
1.00pm
i was on the road. i tried [hard] to be oblivious to the traffic and anticipated what was instore for me in LB this time. miraculously, i woke up from my dreamy daze and was already in LB. [want an idea about how terrible the traffic was? i arrived in LB at 5.00pm(!!!)]
went straight to the tambayan and was greeted by nothingness. only
6.00pm
my visit didn’t go to waste this time. we went carolling [which i unsurprisingly and unintentionally sabotaged].
8.00pm
we ate dinner at chowking and took some “souvenirs” with us. [read: spoon and fork]
9.00pm
we decided to drink and hang-out but we had nowhere to go. we were
11.00pm
we wrapped things up. went to mae/mylene/hayz’s.
11.30pm
decided we’ll drink some more. went out to F.O. and found shy guy. [mylene’s yummy classmate/crush] took him home with us. (bwahahahahaha!)
fRidAy.
6.30am
our little house party ended. all the beds were occupied [hayz’s boyfriend armin was there; shy guy was beside mylene; mae locked her door by instinct] so i balled up in the director’s chair. i was actually considering going straight to OBB [Operation Big Brother --- the brods’ annual christmas outreach] but decided against it. i’d rather not make an appearance than be a zombie. wrong decision.
11.00am
mae woke me up and had me sleep beside her.
2.00pm
good morning to me. shy guy was still there. turned out he really is a shy guy minus the alcohol. ate cheesy tuna with rice. [cooked by mae. yum!]
4.00am
was considering dropping by OBB to say hi and give rz his copy of my sassy girl. however, received a text message from MIS. too personal and insulting so i realized it would be best not to see them [brods].
5.00pm
rz convinced me to go to baker [where OBB was held. it concluded at around 3]. the brods received me warmly so i knew MIS was wrong. afterwards, we were supposed to go to merky’s. but, rz and i stayed behind coz he was gonna buy joy [the girlfriend] her christmas gift. we went to 101 and he bought a baby blue hotdog pillow with a bear’s head and feet at the ends. [chosen by moi of course] we went to bangkal first to drop the gift off at
5.30pm
went to merky’s. they were already eating cambodia style. i was discussing MIS’s text message with marian when MIS showed. she was clearly upset. we had a long dramatic talk and i hope we resolved the issue. i’m still feeling guilty, though. marian and i asked the brods if we may go to the socials later. they said we may.
7.00pm
marian and i went back to mae’s. chikahan galore with hayz. i have to say, for a new sis, marian can definitely talk. no wonder she’s hayz’s best friend.
9.00pm
i went to angeli’s. [seeing marian and hayz together, i had to see my bes too!!!] marian walked with me to raymundo and we had like a 10,000 words per minute chikahan. lolz! bes and i decided to go out. [coz their house was infested with kupals.] without tambayan online, we had a hard time choosing a bar to go to. we ended up in ic’s. [i figured with angeli’s angelic face, it was safe to go there] we drank weng-weng which i’m beginning to prefer over vodka mango. not surprisingly, bes only drank half of it. she was already rosy red after a few sips.
10.15pm
marian came to fetch me. we were gonna go to the socials in bobsky’s. reuben texted me to come, too. when we arrived, a few brods were left. [majority was too tired] lexie and len were there. aloof. fun but aloof.
saTurDay.
12.00am
mae picked us up. ponch was supposed to go with us but we were going to APEC. we passed by the bright carabao park. took some pictures and were on the road. last time i went to APEC was ages ago! last year. summer, i think. with pepot and his friends. hayz went topless. i was going to but the cold winds had the better of me.
3.00am
marian had to go coz her ride home to marikina was picking her up. everyone was sleepy but me. insomnia kicked in. watched tv. gattaca was on and it made me cry. finally went to sleep at around 4. haaay...
make give love on christmas day
went to astro’s before going home. i wanted closure but i guess deep inside i didn’t. i always had problems letting go and moving on. i left his house quite determined to stand by my decision. a bunch of text messages and a phone call later, i gave US another chance. hmmm...
could it be any more inappropriate to write about a break up and a make up in one blog? goes to show how fickle-minded i am.
new blogging format. realized it’ll be easier to read when i sort out mah topics.
*.* as if! @ 8:57:00 PM • • RBJ
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